un·cer·tain·ty/ˌənˈsərtntē/
| Noun: |
|
In uncertain times we look for an anchor to hold us firm.
People get their security from work, money, friendships, relationships, body image, possessions, addictions. It is fairly straight forward to tell what someone puts their faith in by what they talk about, and what they ask about your life.
Have a think: 'what is my anchor right now?' For me I know I have been living off other people, primarily my husband, parents and very close friends. Now having a support network is great, essential even, but the key to recovery is knowing when you are strong enough to stop relying solely on help from others, and start to help yourself.
Over the last few months I have been in group counselling, art therapy and solo counselling sessions (I REALLY wanted to get better!). It's all been very helpful, working out firstly exactly what it was that I was feeling and why I was feeling that way.
The second thing that I found useful was the introduction of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT for short - not to be confused with Compulsory Basic Training for motorbikes!). To explain CBT very crudely it is to recognise the effect your thoughts have on your feelings, and the effect your feelings have on your behaviour. An example of this might go as follows:
This is not a new idea. Romans 12:2 says "do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (NASB) in the Amplified version it reads: "do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude]".
I had heard this verse before, but only by going through CBT did I actually realise what it means. It means that I have control of my mind, ME! I can CHANGE MY MIND. I can renew my mind and expect to be transformed as a result. Instead of just feeling down because I think I'm useless, I can challenge my own thoughts because actually I AM NOT USELESS. Then, because I no longer feel useless, I can get up and do useful things instead.
It helps if you have evidence to back yourself up when you're challenging unhelpful thoughts. As our Pastor said on Sunday "a storm is not a good time for a swimming lesson!" We need to use the good times to prepare for the bad times ahead. Like Joseph in Egypt interpreting Pharaoh's dream about the seven fat cows and the seven skinny cows, he was able to make sure surplus grain was stored up to get the country through the coming famine. So in order to prepare for low periods in the future, I need to be able to call to mind times when I have been useful, things that I have done for my toddler to keep him safe and happy, remember things that I am good at as well as all the times that God has come through for me. So I am starting a testimony record, there are things that I achieved years ago that I have genuinely forgotten until this last week. When you start writing it all down, you realise you actually have a lot of things to be thankful for getting through or achieving.
I am going to share them too!
Here is some light relief, because it is now stuck in my head, it's only fair:
Over the last few months I have been in group counselling, art therapy and solo counselling sessions (I REALLY wanted to get better!). It's all been very helpful, working out firstly exactly what it was that I was feeling and why I was feeling that way.
The second thing that I found useful was the introduction of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT for short - not to be confused with Compulsory Basic Training for motorbikes!). To explain CBT very crudely it is to recognise the effect your thoughts have on your feelings, and the effect your feelings have on your behaviour. An example of this might go as follows:
- someone pulls into "your" space in the supermarket car park
- you think "Oi! That's my space, can you not see me!?!"
- you feel "everybody's out to get what's mine"
- you might then grab your crook lock, exit your car and threaten the offending driver until they give up "your" space and move on
This is not a new idea. Romans 12:2 says "do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (NASB) in the Amplified version it reads: "do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude]".
I had heard this verse before, but only by going through CBT did I actually realise what it means. It means that I have control of my mind, ME! I can CHANGE MY MIND. I can renew my mind and expect to be transformed as a result. Instead of just feeling down because I think I'm useless, I can challenge my own thoughts because actually I AM NOT USELESS. Then, because I no longer feel useless, I can get up and do useful things instead.
It helps if you have evidence to back yourself up when you're challenging unhelpful thoughts. As our Pastor said on Sunday "a storm is not a good time for a swimming lesson!" We need to use the good times to prepare for the bad times ahead. Like Joseph in Egypt interpreting Pharaoh's dream about the seven fat cows and the seven skinny cows, he was able to make sure surplus grain was stored up to get the country through the coming famine. So in order to prepare for low periods in the future, I need to be able to call to mind times when I have been useful, things that I have done for my toddler to keep him safe and happy, remember things that I am good at as well as all the times that God has come through for me. So I am starting a testimony record, there are things that I achieved years ago that I have genuinely forgotten until this last week. When you start writing it all down, you realise you actually have a lot of things to be thankful for getting through or achieving.
I am going to share them too!
Here is some light relief, because it is now stuck in my head, it's only fair:
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